Flip your thinking: "I get to do this"

It’s all too easy to become a bit of a moaner. Sometimes I catch myself mid-moan and recognise it, other times it’s just how the day goes. It has made me consider exactly how prophetic it can be to feel negative, and how much of a ripple effect is caused from the smallest of complaints. And then I came across the ‘flip it’ brigade. It’s nothing new to be honest, it comes from the same field of thought as having ‘positive mental attitude’ and being a ‘can-do’ kind of person, but it’s quite powerful.

We’ve all been there. The alarm goes off, the day ahead looms, and suddenly everything feels like one big chore. “I have to walk the dog.” “I have to do the laundry.” “I have to cook dinner.” Sound familiar? The flippers (that’s what I’m calling those who practise flipping their mindset) swap that tiny little word ‘have’ for ‘get’ and it all sounds so much better. It might sound silly or cheesy, but it’s a powerful mindset shift: I get to do this.

Why words really matter

How we think or speak shapes our outlook more than we realise. When we say “I have to,” it feels like a burden, a demand, a weight on our shoulders. But “I get to” reframes the task as an opportunity or privilege. Think about it: “I have to clean the house” becomes “I get to clean the house” - meaning you have a home to care for. “I have to exercise” becomes “I get to move my body” - and not everyone can.

Take something good from everyday chores

Take the washing-up/dishwasher duties. Most of us groan when we see that pile of dishes. But those dishes mean you shared a meal. Laundry? It means you have clothes to wear. The school run? It means your kids are healthy enough to head to school. These little flips turn nagging tasks into quiet reminders of the good stuff we sometimes take for granted. Washing up can be meditative: you’re being productive but you can also use the time to switch off, be quiet and reflective. Equally it might just give you cause to look around and feel downhearted at your messy kitchen but that’s where the choice comes in.

Challenges count too

It’s not just chores - the same trick works with bigger challenges. Nervous about a presentation at work? Try: “I get to share my ideas.” Worried about a tough workout? Think: “I get to feel stronger.” This doesn’t magically make stress vanish, but it helps tilt the perspective towards gratitude and possibility rather than dread.

How to start flipping the script

So, how do you do this without it feeling forced? It’s all about small swaps and gentle reminders. Here are a few easy ways to start:

• Catch the “have to” moment. Notice when you say (or think) “I have to…” That tiny pause is your chance to flip it. Example: “I have to get up early” becomes “I get to start my day in good time, and I have that first coffee to enjoy.”

• Anchor it to gratitude. Link the task to what it represents. “I get to pay bills” means you’ve got a home, electricity, a car, wi-fi, whatever you’re paying for

• Say it out loud: “I get to”. This is obviously optional. I’m not one for vocal affirmations but you can change how you frame things out loud. Saying “I get to swim this evening” is better than “Ugh, I have to exercise later.”

• Start small. Pick one or two regular moans (like commuting or cooking) and practise flipping those first

• Pair it with a ritual. Maybe jot one “I get to” thought in a notebook each morning, along with the rest of your day’s intentions/plans

• Give yourself grace. Some days you won’t feel like flipping the script - and that’s okay. The goal is progress, not perfection – we’re only human!

  
  

The bottom line

Life is full of responsibilities, no doubt. But within those responsibilities are privileges, signs of connection, comfort and opportunity. Next time you feel the moan coming on, try being more of a flipper. Instead of “I have to”, remind yourself: “I get to”. I’m convinced it lightens the load.

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👉 Try this today: 

Pick just one task you usually groan about and flip it.

Notice how saying “I get to” changes the way you feel.

Here are a few easy ones to start with:

• “I have to go grocery shopping” → “I get to choose tonight’s dinner”

• “I have to answer emails” → “I get to feel more organised and productive”

• “I have to tidy up” → “I get to enjoy my home when I’m done”