Supporting younger neurodivergent children through play

Child’s play is a serious business. It’s how they learn to be human. Through play, children experiment, imagine, problem-solve, connect and make sense of the world around them. Play is vital for every stage of a child’s development. It supports thinking skills, language, creativity, coordination, and emotional resilience.

When children play, they experience all kinds of daily interactions - cause and effect, negotiation and empathy. Excitingly, they also start to learn what they enjoy and gravitate naturally towards those things – it’s the start of their developing characters.

For neurodivergent children, it’s all of those things but play can also provide a secure bridge to learning and connection. It allows them to try new things – exploring sensory experiences, practising social communication, managing emotions, and building confidence. Importantly, it allows them to be themselves, without the pressure of getting things ‘right’.

The right setting will also negate any feelings of overwhelm, judgement or confusion. You might notice that your child responds differently to the energies of the children around them – this is exactly the same for everyone – we all prefer certain personalities on different occasions (I know I do!).

Different ways to play

Playing alone

Solo play gives children space to explore and regulate at their own pace. Many neurodivergent children love puzzles, picture books, building blocks, sorting or lining up toys, sensory bins - or creative materials like water, sand or playdough. Outdoors, solo play might mean playing with the family pet, enjoying climbing frames and other physical challenges. They might like kicking a ball, collecting leaves, or quietly observing colours, the weather and other children.

Playing alone can help children practise focus, independence and problem-solving - and it’s perfectly fine if their play looks different from their peers. A child who spins wheels or repeats actions is learning, exploring, and enjoying.

Small-group play

Two or three children (or a child and an adult) can create wonderful small-group play. This might be building a tower together, sharing pretend tea or taking turns with a ball. Smaller groups allow children to practise communication in a manageable way - there’s less noise, fewer rules and more understanding.

Outdoors, a simple treasure hunt or a shared project can help children connect naturally. The key is to join in at the child’s level, follow their lead, and gently model how to take turns or share ideas.

Larger-group play

Bigger groups, such as within a nursery setting or on the school playground, can be more challenging but also full of fun and friendship. Games like chase, relay races or imaginative group adventures can be exciting.

Neurodivergent children often thrive in these settings when the play has clear, predictable rules and adults help create safety and structure. Giving each child a clear role or job can make group play feel more secure and rewarding.

It’s thoughtful to provide a peaceful, relaxing break-out space if you have a large group – somewhere any of the children can go to be quiet and recharge.

Unstructured, child-led play

When a child is free to follow their own curiosity, they experience control, creativity and self-worth. For a neurodivergent child who may feel the world is full of rules and expectations, that freedom can be deeply liberating.

Montessori nurseries offer a really interesting approach to play. They advocate a down-to-earth approach such as ‘you can make a mess but clear it up afterwards’ and hang a dustpan and brush on the back of every classroom door. Other examples include: ‘Here’s a box of different size metal padlocks from B&Q, with a bunch of keys so you can work it out for yourself’. ‘Let’s clean our shoes’. And they encourage basic kitchen skills such as making a sandwich or peeling a carrot from a really young age. It’s worth looking at play from all angles, especially the more unconventional ways. 

Challenges and worries

Some children may feel anxious about play, especially if they’ve found social or sensory situations difficult in the past. Bright lights, loud noises or unpredictable group games can quickly lead to overwhelm. Children with ADHD might find waiting for turns frustrating; those with autism may struggle with sudden changes in rules or routine.

A friend once set up a fun-filled, colourful arts and crafts table at home for her children and one of their friends who was coming for an after-school play date. The visiting child cried and was totally overwhelmed at the prospect of freestyle ‘making’ and getting messy so the project was quietly abandoned in favour of a film and popcorn. Note to self: go with the flow.

Adults sometimes worry too, perhaps wondering if their child is ‘playing properly’ or joining in. But there’s no single right way to play. What matters most is that the child feels comfortable, engaged and content. Repetitive or different play is still real, meaningful play.

Encouraging all kinds of play

• Follow their lead. Notice what your child naturally enjoys and build on it

• Offer choices. Let them decide what or how to play: autonomy builds confidence

• Create inviting spaces. Indoors or outdoors, make areas where play feels safe, sensory-friendly, and free from pressure

• Scaffold gently. For social play, model turn-taking or use visual cues to explain steps

• Include outdoor play. Movement, fresh air, and space to explore help with regulation and focus

• Be flexible. If a child prefers parallel play (playing alongside rather than with others), that’s okay. Relationships can grow from proximity and shared enjoyment over time

• Celebrate their play. Join in, comment positively, and let them see that their play is valued

• There’s never a wrong way to play as long as it’s safe and fun

  
  

Creating the right environment for neurodivergent children

Successful play sessions for neurodivergent children are usually inclusive, flexible and sensory-aware. It respects their way of engaging with the world. It provides predictability where needed, but also choice and creativity. It allows movement, stimming, rest and joy in equal measure.

Above all, it’s about connection: child to toy, child to nature, child to adult, or child to friend. When we meet a child where they are, rather than where we think they should be, play becomes a bridge to growth, confidence and belonging.

Final thoughts

Play is the language of childhood. For younger neurodivergent children, it’s also a way to feel safe, capable and understood. Whether alone, in a small group, or out in the open air, every moment of play offers a chance to learn, laugh and feel like they belong.

So let’s celebrate every spin, jump, hum and smile because in those moments of freedom and exploration, children are doing the most important work there is: growing into themselves.